i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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