I'm jealous of your bromance
Your dad touched me again.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Randomize
