How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
