I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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