I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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