Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's blow job season.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
