she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
