allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i think my cat just said my name.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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