it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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