Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
