Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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