i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You left your phone here
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