Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
