this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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