Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
