Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
