I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
