oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
