there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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