we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
