Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
