I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have post one night stand depression
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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