You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
