He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
