Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
