playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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