I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
