so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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