hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
