she looked like the before picture.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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