Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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