This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
