I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
