11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
