Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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