when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
