White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
