Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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