i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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