Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
