Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
