just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
