I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
