so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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