If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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