You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
