I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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