dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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