Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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