what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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