Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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