thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
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